Confusion

Today there are a lot of thoughts swirling in my head. It comes from the confusion I have had for quite awhile. First lets lay a ground work:

-I grew-up conservative in every way: Conservative Christianity-where almost everything imagineable is sin whether covered clearly by Scripture or not, Conservative politically-anti-abortion,anti-homosexual, pro-gun, pro-death penalty, huge amounts of national pride,etc.
-As a young adult from 18-27 I spent 95% of my time relating and working w/ people who shared these, and sometimes even more, conservative values and thoughts.
-Then at 27 or 28 I had a tragic and dramatic event in my life that caused me to begin to question almost everything. I began to work and relate to people from different perspectives and circumstances. I began to read from differing opinions especially what would be considered more liberal Christians.

Today I would label myself more of a moderate I guess b/c I see both sides of many issues. However, many would label me very liberal now. Here are my confusions:


How can we be patrotic and have national pride in how wonderful America and its freedoms are, yet balance our citizenship in Heaven? War vs. peace, capitalism vs. need to care for the poor and needy around the world, building a large powerful military w/ need to protect vs. need to represent Christ and the Gospel of peace

How can I tell someone else that their loving committed relationship is sinful just b/c they didn't or can't stand in front of a minister or judge and have that relationship made "legal"? I have met homosexual couples and non-married heterosexual couples whose relationships are more committed to their true selves and their partners than many that are married. Can we adaquetly point to Scriptures that explicitly tell us these relationships aren't God-honoring?

I guess the whole idea of us as Christians, especially preacher/teachers, trying to be the moral police of both the church and the world is just hard for me to grasp. I grew up w/ well meaning, well intentioned preachers telling us what was and wasn't sin and backing it up w/ their interpretations of the Bible. As I was once told, you can make the Bible say anything you want it to if you try hard enough(by a very conservative preacher nonetheless). I happen to think the major sins aren't abortion and homosexuality as it seems most Christians and the "moral majority" have decided to take laser aim at, but instead the lack of care for our fellow man. It is the widow and orphan's care we are told that is true religion and Jesus plainly said we would be known b/c of our love of one another. And yet we pour plant derived gas into our monster gas hogs so it can cost 2-3 cents per gallon less and watch third world countries starve b/c of it. Is that the Gospel Jesus died for? Did He die so that on the Sunday after Katrina we could all meet in our air condition churches then head off to an over-priced lunch at the restaurant? Or did He want us to open our doors and say, "We have a gym and we can round up food, send the "refugees" our way."?

I do have a serious issue still w/ abortion but question the ability to make it illegal. Again I am not sure it is our responsiblity to legislate morality for everyone? I do believe we can affect the decision of our own households though. So we must say to our daughters and sons, "if you mess up and get pregnant or get someone pregnant, I WILL be there for you!". (So proud of some friends who along w/ their daughter recently decided this was the best course of action!) I also believe we have to care for the sanctity of life beyond the womb. "Womb to tomb" I recently read is our real responsibility as for as LIFE goes. Schools,health care,senior care, the environment are all part of the sanctity of life as for as I am concerned. Caring for life has made me question lots of other things: the death penalty, gun laws, torture,and use of force.

All of this is difficult for a country boy from the very buckle of the Bible Belt to wrap his head around. But all of this has been spinning in my head for a long time so I thought I'd put it out their to spin in yours for awhile. Feel free to comment, correct, or just ponder along w/ me.

Grace and peace!

32

Today's post is a bit reflective, a bit sentimental, and very personal for me.

32 things I am thankful for:
1.God- not just for all HE has done for me-salvation, grace,life, redemption, healing, etc. but for all HE is-truth, light, love, Ultimate Meaning, etc.
2.Rachel-my wonderful, lovely wife! She has helped me experience so much: love, grace, beauty, and life at its fullest. I wouldn't want to share this journey w/ anyone else!
3.Lily Grace-what fun!!!!! Life has new meaning, new excitement, even new worries b/c of her and I am so thankful for ALL she brings to it!!!!!!!!!!
4.My Parents- they taught me such great lessons about commitment(they've been married 40 years to each other, need I say more), love, hard-work, family, etc. They continue to love me and my expanding family so very much!!
5.Maranda-my sister, regardless of how we are actually related, can't imagine having made it through childhood,teen years, and even now w/o her.
6.Faithpointe Church- a people who have withstood the storms and, no matter where we live or attend church, Faithpointe will always be home!!!
7.Elijah Collard-My Pop(father-in-law, for those who don't know)His support, love , and lessons on life got me through the hardest time of my life and continue to do so even now!
8.Robby Marshall-even at a distance, still one of my best friends. He'd do anything for me and I for him!!
9. Michale and Jenny Gardner and Family-friends forever!!!
10.Running- there are so many who can't or want. I feel for both and understand a little of both. But I can and by God's grace and His empowerment of my willpower I will. I love every exhilierating, painful, fun, grueling moment of it!!!!
11. Steven and Jennifer Moore- two lovely, big-hearted peeps who have a great calling of God. They took over and allowed me to know my kids were in great and even better hands. I conintue to enjoy their friendship so much.
12. My job- great people to work for and w/, an excellent setting and terrific pay!!! Not everyone can say any of that!
13.My house- its big enough for all of us and to host family and friends.
14. My extended family- both by blood and by marriage, I have the best!!!!!
15. MaDonna- she has a big heart and a great love for all her family
16. Rob Yanok- his friendship means so much to me. He will never know how redeeming many of the things he has done for me have been including allowing me to return home to speak again.
17.Nashville- I love this city- so much to do, and experience while still having the charm and warmth of a Southern town.
18. Craig Oneal- I know so much more about my profession and have been able to do so much in it b/c of him.
19. Marble Retreat- what an experience!!! Saved my sanity, and possibly my life. So much in this blog might not be there if not for all the people associated with those 10-12 days!
20. The Harding Running Team- w/o these peeps I'd probably still be struggling through 6-8 miles. Their support, knowledge and comradary have helped me so much.
21. Coffee-truly the nectar of the gods
22. Granny and Pa- my formative years are unimaginable w/o them. I am so thankful they are still around to see and be a part of Lily's life.
23. Johnny Cash- the man, the music, the mystique!!!!
24. Switchfoot and U2- their music and its expression of faith helped at a time when I had lots of doubts
25. Mornings- not only does it mean we get to live another wonderful day but w/ Lily they have taken on such newness of energy and excitement!
26. Creation- in all its beauty- there is nothing like settling fog, bright sunrises, gorgeous sunsets, swaying breezes, wildlife in all their uniquenesses, etc.
27. the internet- I am able to connect w/ friends and family, find stuff, keep informed and just generally have fun. What did we do w/o it?
28. Mickey Mouse- the best baby-sitter outside of a grandmother.
29. R.W. Moore- he gave me my first shot at ministry and taught me so much about it. Wished I'd listened and learned better back then.
30. Eddie Cupples- believe it or not I am glad for his influence in my life
31. the "C"hurch- in all of her faults and failure she has withstood in order to bring us all closer to Jesus
32. LIFE- to be alive, to live it to its fullest, to know that it never really will end!!!-Thanks Jesus!

My one to grow on would be BR- yeah they really did help me grow into a better person, I hope.

Sexy Boots

With the new album coming out today a U2 post is appopriate or is it cliche? Comcast has been featuring U2 with scores of videos and concerts on demand. I love U2 they, along with Switchfoot were a kind of salvation musically for me 5 yrs ago when I need it so much. I still wanted to hear spiritual themes in music but could no longer stand the over sanitized, sterile, same old same ole from the usual "Christian" sources. I use quoatation marks b/c I hate label some music as Christian just b/c of the label or whatever that had something to do w/ the production and others secular for the same reason. God can be and is in all kinds of music and the beauty and depth of it, makes it inspirational no matter who sings, plays or produces it. Music that inspires love, peace, humanity, beauty, etc. plays on Christ-like themes in my mind anyway. Old Blue Eyes' voice is God-given even if he is not singing about Jesus specifically. But I am straying form the original intent of this post.

I have watched two of the U2 concerts on comcast. The first was the Elevation Tour. It reminded me of listening to a salvation message from a great preacher. You may be saved, committed or whatever so you don't need it in that sense, but it reminds you of how wonderful the message was the first time you heard it!!! It remind me of how broken and empty I felt 5 years ago when I came back to realllllly listening to U2 again and how far I have come since. I still struggle and still have my issues including the dark depression that can incapacitate me on certain days but I am overcoming and growing and moving forward-Walk On!!!

The second concert was a bit more of a convicting experience for me. Bono is talking of how he first saw America as a child landing a man on the moon. He is using the moment to talk about us all coming together to end global poverty( the ONE campaign). He says something about how no child should have to die b/c of a lack of food in her belly and I look down at my sweetheart sleeping in my arms and just begin to cry! It is unfair that in today's age of exravagance we have poor who are dying due to a lack of food and clean water. We are all up in arms in America b/c or economy is so bad we might not be able to keep buying more cars, houses and going out to really over priced meals while our brothers and sisters would beg just for our crumbs. I am just as guilty as anyone and I realize it!!! That is why I felt so convicted. I always want some new toy or gadget or outfit. I must do more w/ what I have been blessed w/!
So thanks again Brother Bono for preaching to us all!!

Inaguration

Like many of you I watched a lot of the coverage of President Obama's Inaguration yesterday. Lily had her one year appointment yesterday so I missed his actual speech. I did come home and watch it on cnn.com and Pastor Rick Warren's prayer. In my opinion both did a fantastic job. Also like many of you, I did not vote for Obama but, as a very brave soldier who got to dance w/ the President at a ball last night said, "he is our Commander and Chief and I respect the office and the man". Sure there are issues and ideals he and I don't see eye to eye on, but as my Dad said, there always is. So for now I will pray for him a lot. He inherits quite a mess you know. I liked the fact that he challenged us to help make a difference. Washington alone did not cause nor can it solve this economic crisis. This is America- we the PEOPLE. We make our future nationally through the democratic process and individaully day-to-day. Like many others I have extended myself way beyond my means at times. I have neglected my God, my family and my fellow man at the altar of success and self. So as my President and Pastor( yes you, Rob) call for a time of CHANGE and stepping up to the plate, I pray I will!!!

Lily is what?

I can't believe it my little girl is 1!! What? Didn't we just bring her home yesterday? She was so cute at her party toddling around, chasing all the other kids wishing everyone would stop trying to carry her everywhere. I told Pastor Rob, "I promise you she can walk". To which he responded, "I'd never know it b/c your family won't put her down!HA!". Sooo true! It was a blast though seeing so many peeps I haven't seen and spending time w/ some I've seen but haven't had or made time to just really share life w/. My wife and cousin made one of the most beautiful cakes I have ever seen-actually they made two great cakes! Lily loved her Mickey Mouse one of course!

After the party was wonderful too b/c Rachel and I got to spend time w/ two of our favorite peeps Steven and Jen! Wonderful conversations about God, life, kids, church, all kinds of things. Jen unsuspectedly said something that both convicted me and complimented us at the same time. She called us their mentors. NO way! Those two have done and accomplished more than I ever could have dreamed of! I don't mean that in some kind of competing, jealous way just that they are so awesome. The conviction is that we aren't involved in ministry and really not even committed to a church. Sure there are all the excuses as to why but more than anything for me it is fear and a lack of zeal.

So as we pray and fast the next 20 days this is something I am trying to search out within me.

Lily's First Christmas

A More Beautiful Noise

A post from Mars Hill Advent celebration:

A man was heading home with his toddler child. They were returning from a long day of activity and busyness. Many things were weighing on the father’s mind. The vehicle was quiet, but the man’s mind was noisy with thought.
After some time, the child broke the heavy silence with a simple song.
Immediately upon recognizing what the child was singing, the man’s mind became clear and present. He at once realized that he was responsible for making this singing child. He’d created a creator and the sound of the child’s voice connected the man to the source of an immeasurable joy that could not be explained.
It occurred to the father–had he heard a master vocalist perform the same piece of music, flawlessly and with all the skill, tone, and dynamics of a Pavarotti, he would’ve been unmoved. A singer with an accurate execution, expertise, and emotional delivery could never have pleased him nearly as much as the soft, undeveloped voice of this youngster. The song sang “perfectly” would have lacked all its meaning.
This was because the tender little creature sang without pride or self-consciousness, thoughtfully and happily with focus and purity. It was not a performance, not intended for an audience. This child, whom the father loved, sang without being asked, without fear of judgment and with no concept or expectation of recognition or reward. Merely expressing a heart-filled wonder, the child sang for no reason other than it was what the child was
m o v e d
to do at that moment. For this reason, it was a resounding and powerful voice that resonated as flawless with the father.
Flawless. Even though the child had a weak vocabulary–many of the words were barely discernable–and conjoined with a tune, the child’s enunciation quickly worsened. From a technical standpoint the child got it all wrong: omitting words and singing others in the wrong order. The pitch was imprecise. The melody was broken. The tempo was unsteady. And it was the loveliest sound that had ever graced the father’s ears.
Any serious critic would’ve considered the song nothing but a noise fallen short of the mark, a cacophony of significant errors and artistic offenses, but it was genuine and true. And the father could not have imagined a more beautiful noise. The child sang with joy and the child’s joy was the father’s joy.
Week 3 posts
-->
(contributed by Adam Kenyon)

Hope it makes you enjoy your family and the small momnets like it did me!